if you love it, stop washing it: hair

There are a lot of things I don't wash often in the interest of preserving them. Not in a disgusting, never-cleaned-my-sheets way, but any woman who has owned a perfect black cardigan or a silk jacket probably knows that the harshest thing you can do to your clothes is wash them. I'm a firm believer that some people wash their clothing far more than the need to and without nearly enough care. Then again, there are plenty of people who could probably put their jeans or sheets through the wash a few more times per year to great effect.

Besides clothes, one of the main things I do not wash all that often is my hair. This has been in the news in the past months, most notably in this article, which has a snarky and misleading title. It's mostly about women who eschew most at-home hair care in exchange for weekly washes and blowouts. I actually used to be one of these people, long before it was a mainstream trend, because it's a very common practice for the "control" of "ethnic" hair. Bloggers responded in many different ways. Some were repelled by the prospect of rarely washed hair (offensive!), some admitted that they weren't diligent squeaky-cleaners either. There was definitely some confusion on what constituted not washing one's hair (the Times implies it's someone else washing your hair in the salon, perhaps once a week).

For me, not washing my hair means massaging my hair/scalp with conditioner daily, and rinsing thoroughly. The only step I omit is the use of harsh detergents that leave my usually soft curls feeling pretty wiry. I wash my hair either when I get it trimmed at the salon (every six to eight weeks) or if I perform some activity that I feel has left my hair pretty dirty (swimming in a chlorinated pool, for example, or visiting a smoky lounge with my friends). My hair is not naturally greasy, in fact, it's a bit dry, especially when harshly treated with detergents and harsh stylers. For years, hair care professionals have told me that the best way to deal with dry hair, to keep it healthy and strong, was to stop washing and it turns out they were right.

It doesn't hurt that in a quest to get my hair healthy I cut it short (getting rid of some ill-advised highlights) and reduced heat styling to about once a month, but I don't doubt that limiting washing gives the oils in my hair a chance to do whatever it is they do. This is definitely not what most people want to hear, but in the long run it's probably better to work with whatever your natural texture is, unless you want to be one of those people wandering the mall with really frizzled out hair.

I'd ask if you wash your hair everyday (or at all) but I'd hate to start another argument...

Spring Wardrobe Cleaning 1

While many people are weeding out their book collections (I wouldn't dare touch mine), summoning the energy to clean refrigerators, under-the-sink cabinets, and over-stocked pantries, I am spending a little extra time these days getting my closet in shape for the next season, and more importantly, for the next year.

For me, having most of my wardrobe edited, tailored, mended as needed and otherwise ready for use is one of the most important time savers. A friend once asked me why it took me so little time to put together outfits that made me happy in the morning. My answer remains the same: my standards aren't particularly low, it's just that when you are familiar with everything in your closet, and have taken steps to make sure everything that takes up space is in usable (preferably brilliant) condition, it is no more difficult to get dressed in the morning as to "cook" a bowl of cereal. Okay, it can be harder that that: fat days, weird weather days, injuries and so on can complicate things.

Over the next few days I'm not going to be writing about editing my wardrobe, because the Bargain Queens have already done a nice series on that a while ago. Instead, for me, spring wardrobe cleaning is about going through everything and making sure it is in tip top shape. Spring is an especially good time for this because soon enough (at least for those of us in the colder climes) it won't matter so much if we leave our wool coats at the cleaners for a few days or weeks. This is more minor, but I also feel that the lighter colored items that become more popular in the spring and summer (some sandals, floaty dresses, colorful raincoats, etc.) show wear more readily than some winter stalwarts (like black boots and heavy, dark coats). I know that in my haste to embrace autumn clothing at the end of balmy August and September, I (lazily) tend to thrust some of my summer clothes away without due consideration.

Here are the first two steps I am taking/have taken. As the numbering of this post suggests, I intend to update the blog as I add more tasks to my spring wardrobe cleaning adventure. This is one of the nicest features of this kind of "cleaning", rather than one big task, there is a series of smaller ones that can be squeezed in during your favorite television show or on the way to the gym.

1. Repair Shoes
Sounds simple enough, but I don't know enough people who repair their shoes consistently. In my experience, most people would rather wear shoes that are in bad condition, with nearly worn-through soles, missing lifts, peeling insoles and worse than spend twenty dollars to repair them. This is silly. Not repairing shoes is silly because buying new shoes is often more expensive than repairing old ones, and further, repairing old shoes that fill a need in any shoe wardrobe (like black pumps or brown flats) means that hard-earned money can go to adding additional shoes to the shoe wardrobe (!!) rather than constantly replacing the classics. Buying good classics in the first place, and repairing them as needed, is always a good buy.

One of the first things I did yesterday was go through my entire shoe wardrobe, and pick out the pairs that need obvious repairs. Before taking any of them to the local shoe repair man (make friends with yours), I considered whether each pair was worth the money it would require to fix them. If the shoes cost only fifteen or twenty dollars, and are not particularly well made, they might not be worth new heel lifts (the little piece on the bottom of the heel for the uninitiated, when it's missing often the metal inside the heel clacks annoyingly and even painfully on any hard surface) that will cost ten. In which case, if the shoes have truly outstayed their welcome, I say goodbye. Why throw away shoes? Because as cute as they may have been once if their condition is poor I will look silly wearing them. Say this to yourself as you part with those worn-to-shreds flats you picked up at Target. Of course, sometimes inexpensive shoes are worth the repairs. If it will make you cry to not have them anymore, consider taking them in for repair anyway (as long as they're still healthy for your feet). If they were an exceptional deal, which explains the low price, and so have good architecture and quality materials, get them repaired anyway. That's a bargain that keeps on giving.

In addition to taking in shoes that need obvious repair (new lifts, new soles, etc.) I looked at shoes that might be close to perfect, but have issues. The heels are too high (start thinking about insoles), the shoe is a bit dirty (see below), they make too much noise (have the cobbler-is that word still appropriate?-replace the cheap plastic heels/lifts the vast majority of shoes, even expensive ones, have with rubber, which will make them quieter and more comfortable). Think about why you're not wearing any specific pair and think about whether there are any solutions. This is going to hurt: if there are no solutions, give away or throw away. It's that simple. Stuff in poor condition makes an otherwise polished person look silly. Almost anyone is better off with two good pairs of shoes than ten pairs of mediocre shoes. One thing that helps me make sure I complete this task is to take the shoes out and put them in a bag, by the door, to take to the shoe repairman. It's too easy to forget or ignore the problem when the shoes are in the closet.

Plus, lots of times a good shoe guy can do lots of crazy things to make your shoes better! Don't be afraid to ask.

2. Clean (and repair if necessary) Purses
It's very easy to fall into a purse rut, no matter how many cute bags you own. There is that favorite, the one that actually stays on your shoulder (miracle of miracles), holds everything you need without seeming clownishly large, and hides dirt like a champion. And, if you're the kind of person who doesn't mind only having and using one or two classic bags, go for it. I almost wish I were more like that.

On the other hand, plenty of women have a closet full of chic and fun purses that serve a variety of purposes, and most of these get shoved into the closet or wherever accessories are stored, and ignored 80% of the time (this is a very scientific statistic, can't you tell?). This, like having old and busted shoes around, is asking for trouble. Once or twice a year, go through purses to remind yourself of what you have. Throw away, or better yet give away, bags you wouldn't be seen in public with anymore. If they're too worn/stained/etc to use in good conscience, either investigate cleaning and repair options or get rid of them.

Many bags can be cleaned or spruced at home. Check tags for washing instructions for bags made of canvas or similar. There are plenty of at-home leather cleaners and conditioners that can help remove small stains or discolored spots (like where your jeans rubbed some dye off on that leather bag) with ease. For big issues, and often for suede (although there are at-home options for suede), consider calling in the big guns. Having a purse cleaned professionally can be expensive, but if your leather tote was expensive to begin with, or is irreplaceable (be honest with yourself here) it can be worth the expense. Consider whether the additional use is worth the investment in a professional cleaning. Consider taking in purses one at a time to be repaired. Consider taking the bags that need some work done out of the closet. I store the ones I'm cleaning myself near the television so I can work on them while watching Top Chef and have decided to take some of my suede stuff in for cleaning, one piece at a time, this spring.

why vacuuming in heels is (maybe) good idea

My stepmother has one of those fun little calendars (it was a gift from my dad) loaded with quotes about shoes, which, if you've ever read this blog before, you know I am passionate about.

A few days ago she sent me this: "Nothing has been invented yet that will do a better job than high heels at making a good pair of legs look great, or great ones look fabulous."-Stuart Weitzman

Nothing earth-shattering but very true, but there are reasons many women don't do heels. Some of those can't really be addressed here (comfort, for example, is a personal decision), but many women just don't walk that well in heels. Since we actually do stuff (rather than sit around telling the servants to do stuff) it can be annoying to feel hampered in any way when it comes to walking, and as a result, many ladies resort to flats when a heel would add elegance and sex appeal.

The dirty little secret of high heels is that most people are not born knowing how to walk in them, and many people who wear them are bad at wearing them. Heels should always fit well and be in good condition, but it's especially important if you're not a regular high heel wearer (models wear heels all the time, which is why they can glide down the runway in the wrong size). You might just want to try doing your day to day chores in them.

If you don't mind wearing shoes in the house (or if the shoes you're practicing in are brand new), wearing them around the home is a great way to break them in and get used to them. Put the shoes on before vacuuming, washing dishes (don't do this one if they're say, satin, and will be easily ruined if splashed) , dusting, etc. As you walk around, try and correct your balance or straighten your spine. Practice going up and down steps in them, and see how they adjust with your feet as they swell naturally. As a plus, this is often a great way to find out if a pair of shoes ought to be returned; if you can't wear them for ten or fifteen minutes of normal activity, you'll never wear them out comfortably. Since the way most stores determine whether a pair of shoes is "worn" or not has to do with the condition of the sole, as long as your flooring of choice isn't concrete, the shoes will probably still be returnable. I've been wearing heels for years and I still do this with practically every new pair, since heel heights and shoe shapes are different. Many times after twenty minutes of walking around the house I will discover that a pair of super high heels requires an insole, or one of those neat heel grips. It's much more painful to learn your new red patent mary janes require an insole midway through a day at the office or a round of errands.

Do you wear heels? How do you break in your new shoes?

why i probably don't want a dishwasher

I grew up without a dishwasher. Unless you count my parents. Bad joke.

No, really, we never had a dishwasher. We moved around a lot and lived in all different apartments, etc. and my mother raised me washing dishes by hand. This might come as a shock to some people, in fact, it has. Someone once asked me if this method actually resulted in clean dishes. Not only was that insulting and rude (no, I'm serving that cake on dirty dishes...) but it made little sense. Dishwashers are a relatively recent invention, and only gained real popularity in the 1950s, according to the United States Patent and Trademark Website. This means that for the vast, vast majority of human history, people have washed dishes by hand. I'm guessing a good portion, if not most, of those dishes, were actually clean.

My feelings about dishwashers stem partially from living in a house where many people use the dishwasher, although I think it basically ends up as the model of how a large family might use a dishwasher. Many people I know are extraordinarily precise about how they rinse their dishes and load their dishwashers. They've honed this ability over time, so that the dishes they put in usually, if not always, emerge clean and pristine. Ah, clean plates with at least a small reduction in time input.

The problem is, when many people share a dishwasher, this doesn't happen. Everyone adds things to the dishwasher willy nilly. Forks and knives are stowed with the business ends up (ouch, for whoever is emptying the washer), vessels are placed facing up (and emerge full of filthy water). Either some things end up clean or nothing ends up clean. This is just how it works when lots of people use a dishwasher, and I imagine it would be much worse if the people leaving together included seven year old boys, not just adults. The issues surrounding who loads, who empties and who is responsible for dishes left in the sink while the washer is running (or clean but full) can be taxing. All that, and you still have to log sink time scraping and rinsing the dishes properly before you put them in the dishwasher. I don't know if, on average, dishwashers save or waste water (comparative to hand washing), but they definitely use up vital resources in the form of energy. Why not go the extra half inch and just wash them by hand?

NH says that he, having been raised with a dishwasher, could not live without one. But I think I could probably do pretty well without this costly convenience. Could you?

Updated: Fixed some typos and to include a valid point from NH, that quite possibly in a large house or large family without a dishwasher,  simply no one would do the dishes, which would probably be worse. The responsibility would likely fall on one person. 

a bathtub for the ages

I've mentioned before that I live in a sorority house. I've lived here in doubles twice before (we reset the house each semester to accommodate women who go abroad, graduate halfway through the year, or otherwise adjust their housing arrangements). In my opinion it's one of the best housing situations on campus: centrally located, extremely private, I know every person who lives in the house. Probably one of the most covetable features of this home, however, is the bathroom to occupant ratio, which is 1:2.3, when most rooms at the university are at least 1:5, and in corridor style dorms, as bad as 1:20 or worse.

Right now I'm sharing a bathroom with two ladies, and the bathroom is quite large, with a good sized bathtub/shower in lieu of the stall showers that are ubiquitous in the various dorms. In fact, after five semesters, this is the first time I've had access to a bathtub. It's very pleasant, I'd forgotten how simple it is to shave one's legs when there is something to lean against.

Facilities cleans bathrooms that are not inside of rooms, and ours is no exception. "Cleans" is probably a loose term, our facilities/maintenance guy comes in a few times a week and takes out the trash, leaving hardly any other evidence of cleaning action. Which is fine: a little untrusting (when it comes to bathroom cleaning anyway) by nature, I try to make a little time to clean it myself, although admittedly its been a little tough to get into a routine this semester. I did find some time to give the tub a good scrub with some bleach cleaner, because if there's anything that terrifies me, it's the prospect of some kind of fungal infection on my feet. I can't help it; I had ringworm once as a child.

I spent about twenty minutes scrubbing the tub, definitely finding evidence that facilities had been less than diligent (I'll spare you the details) the day before. Afterward it was considerably whiter, and the bathroom had that just-cleaned-with-bleach smell that I find rather reassuring. I almost surprised myself then, when my mother asked if I had any intention to take a nice, relaxing bath. This was a reasonable question, at home I'm a fiend for baths, and love to take a nice long soak while reading a book. But no matter how much cleaner I'd left the bathtub, I didn't quite think it'd ever be clean enough for taking a bath.

Last night, after an indulgent and yummy dinner with friends, I sat with S in her apartment drinking tea and asked her opinion: after all of my efforts, was I being a little picky? She felt the same way I did: too many people had bathed in that shower and it had gone improperly cleaned for far too long. My sorority has been using this house for at least ten years, I think. And while I'm sure the vast majority if not all of the women who've used these facilities have been cleanly, I can't vouch for the work of the maintenance staff. No, I'm not quite prepared to deem the bathtub worthy, even after twenty minutes with a scrub brush. Do you feel the same way?